♪ pieces of me ♪

pindahan..

2006-10-13T11:54:00.000+07:00

dear my blog viewers, commentators.. or any secret admirers.. haha..
i have my new place now..

so, whenever still misses me.. just click the link above :p
why move?
well.. just as a refreshment..new feels.. and so on..huah..
and i'm also launching a photoblog later on. just wait.. hopefully within these festive breaks i would be able to spare some time on maintaining my digital life :p wakakaka..

see ya all :)

weekend thouts..

2006-09-23T09:58:00.000+07:00

you know, sumtimes ppl feel so small. like i do right now. i've been a very hard complainer these days. not that i wasn't before, but i guess it's just getting severe. and i found out, a complainer is someone who is actually have nothing to offer, and nothing to argue but complains. she is someone who is so small.. small at thought and heart. and i found myself so. i complain too much and it blinded me to see how great Thou art in my whole life.. up to every second i still could breathe the air.

i keep growing jealosy of why others easily mingle around, easily get a friend, share, and hangout together, while i'm stuck in a past scene where i have them hurting me which erasing my trust on anyone. i know i have to get my ass off those scenes but i just somehow feel too comfortable hurting myself. i keep wondering why he/she is better than i do, why are they being loved more than i do.. and i feel i was more mature in those 3-4 years ago compared to now. it's like back in an instability of a fragile youth. dang!

and yes i'm a keeper. i do forgive but i don't forget. i stuck all the bad memories in a small box in my head which is unerasable. and when it came up again one day, it's blowing me up like hell..

but my friend oen, with her blog reminds me on a whole lot of things to think. it's like pouring a big bucket full of cold water right thru my sleeping face. a hard reminder to make a move. make a start. don't just walk around with blur destinations. learn to make a move to be a better person, not for others, but for Him. and He'll provide you everything..

have a nice weekend evryone..

one fine monday..

2006-09-18T22:25:00.000+07:00

hmm.. hari ni listrik mati dari jam 2an sampe sore. jadinya sepulangnya si bos dari meeting jam 3an kita cabut ke starbucks puri.. huehehehe.. semalem ga ikutan, besoknya starbucks juga :p gw ama irwan jalan duluan sdangkan si bos dan pacarnya blakangan.. trus.. jadilah internal meeting dilakukan bersama kopi amerika nan mahal ituh. wakakaka.. agak aneh memang krn ternyata dimana2 juga mati listrik.. stelah ngobrol2 gak jelas trus nyela setiap pengunjung kedai kopi akhirnya masuk mal dan jalan2 gak jelas.. trus balik deh! hehehe. coba tiap hari mati listrik.. :p

si wally-look-alike friend ku itu.. ternyata lumayan asik diajak ngobrol.. dan discuss.. serta sharing2 gak penting.. hahaha.. yah at least gw gak bengong sendirian kayak dulu.. ada temen buat dijadiin pelampiasan segala kepenatan dan kejenuhan.. huehehehehe..

waktu gue baik2, elo seakan menusuk gw dari belakang..
waktu gue berusaha untuk baik2 di saat tidak baik pun,
elo jutekin gw..
i can see now u're trying to be nice at me..
tapi knapa ego gw seakan kepengen menang terus?
i did put the ice wall there..
dunno when i'll let it melt..
eventho i really want to..

ahahaha weekend gw abis in an hour.. :p

2006-09-17T22:50:00.000+07:00

hari ni pembukaan bulan org muda.. dari stnga8 pagi dah stdby ampe siang.. jam 4 sore dah balik lagi ampe malem di grjaa.. trus diajakin ke starbucks.. tapi gw males euy, dah cape dan masi ada pe-er prancis gw..

i feel like doing evrything at the moment..practice more french, learn skating, learn to ride that mtrcycle *again* learn to make a website.. duh. like 24hrs are not enuff for me. know what.. its coming again.. the thinker me.. i hate it. it sucked up all my left energies and its drivin me insane. im feeling like in another world, or probably in the same world but feel like an alien.

i need to refresh, sit back a while and realize.. that i need some great efforts to learn more about being way more sincere, humble, and friendly.. those are problems that i left behind, that i denied most of the times of my life.. aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

bobo aja deh. yogi.. braninya toel2 doang...ahhh :p hihihihi..

life's been.. unexpectedly FUN!

2006-09-11T23:46:00.000+07:00

i guess many things to catch up.. mind my language, kay.. i'm gonna spread out evry little interesting stuff i've got.. :p

so.. finally i've submitted my thesis in hard-cover (oh yea it's a week later from the due date, but i don't see any problem :p) after all the rushes, thank God i've my guy around helping out. and so.. i'm into a damn routinity of working 9 to 5, meetings 8 to 10 and nothin else.

these couple months has been fun.. andrew was in the city so we and ai2 and pete went out for a dinner, guess where.. yes u got it.. fish and co. again!!! hahaha.. he brought me the leverpastei, (read:pork liver paste) and a pack of smoked sausage.. hmm yummy! updating each other here and there.. unfortunately i really got some tight schedule at that moment so, we didn't really have lots of time hangin' out.. hiks.. guess have to ait him back soon.. :)

then i went to see my guy last week for his so-called-band performing.. before, i had a late dinner at front row's birthday event with some friends and got a grand prize.. a voucher for staying one night at park lane hotel! huehehehe... valid till end of november but i still haven't get back there to get the real voucher.

and last weekend i went to bandung again, to attend one of my dad's colleague's son's wedding. oh my gosh.. it's just like the wedding i want to have. perfectly that's it. you guys can check out their website here. i didn't know 'em but heyyyyyyyy their wedding reception was very2 cool. nice place, nice decorations, nice colours, and great on overall.. and i met my hi-school friend Kay.. the next day at Bandung there were this Pasar Seni ITB which was held once in 5 years.. so I decided to take a look there and.. gile aje bener2 pasar.. soo crowded, even tho' yea it's sort of much likely an art fest. and I met Peni there.. hehehe.. jarang2 ketemuan sama org2 yg gue kenal di tempat jauh secara gue gak gitu gaul.. wekekeke..

entah knapa gw enjoy banget when outta my usual life.. being in bandung was very refreshing and i actually wanna stay longer but.. hiks.. gotta back to work on monday.. duhhhh mau bandung lagi! hehehe..

working seems so fun lately.. my friends at work are great, the projects are cool.. i wish my office were 24 hours.. wakakaka.. so becoz of all dat fun, i guess i begin to let those lousy thoughts, unfriendly people, and all over-worries get lost somewhere.. i don't care! i have my very goals in my life and i will have them with or without any of those annoying stuffs.. sowwy but i do better with my ego around and i did lousy when i start thinking about other people.

i'm releasing me.. outta tha damn shell.. huehehe apa sih.. ok lah.. good for naw..

back to blogging world..

2006-08-08T22:59:00.000+07:00

you know.. after all the hectic days.. i thought i'll be a little 'free' but ternyataaaaaaa... emang gue susah banget lepas dari kesibukan2 yang ga ada abisnya.. hehehe.. but i think that's good.. because i got so lazy when i have nothin to do..

so.. it's the youth month coming up.. and all the pending reports.. aduh! blum lagi beberes kamar yg brantakan sejak bikin TA.. hehehehe...

yah yah yah.. masih euforia neh.. pengennya hura2 melulu :p wek...

good news..

2006-08-05T23:16:00.000+07:00

gue LULUS sidang TA! wakakakakakaka..

dengan nilai yang.. quite surprising. I don't expect that grade, even tho' I really thank God for that. with all the rush, the working days, and the rush again.. hehe.. and finally the final presentation itself, plus - those comments from the lecturers.. i just hoping for the sufficient grade to pass. but HEY! it's an almost great grade, at least for me. apalagi waktu gue tau some of my friends only got the 'just enough' grades.

gila gue bener2 ga nyangka.. i was scared to death while waiting for the results.. damn it! waiting's sucks.. hehe.. after the result paper is n my hand, i walked out. and waaa..... i feel like jumping all over and screaaaammm! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

i still can feel the euphoria. and it's like erasing all the bad thoughts i had. :D

huaaaaaaaaaaaaa saya lulussssssss...... wakakakakak...

ps. congrats to vero for her new job.. i know it's a time-demanding working place.. but hey, you'll get lots of experiences also.. so happy for u :)

2006-07-10T22:48:00.000+07:00

hei pak, kemana aje? btw baru jalan2 lagi ke warungnya.. puisi2nya mantab! *two thumbs up* hehehe..

i heard that the 'friendship with God' went absolutely fantastic.. and as vero shared in her blog.. i feel like i should've been there. hehe.. i, have some crucial problems with the topics. ;)

ahhh. ayo konsen TA!!!!

j'ai un grand problème.. et je crier toujours à Dieu.. soit avec moi!

post #226

2006-07-07T23:45:00.000+07:00

hehehe. judulnya gak penting banget. :p

i've been struggling thru some quite heavy thoughts recently. for the past 3 nights, for an exact number. i've been thinking on how should i brought 'this' to him.. and all the worries. then to complete my heavyloads, i dunno if this is a coincidence.. i saw a writing from someone i really recognize.. and it breaks my heart. arg arg arg.

couldnt this be worst??? God help me.

2006-07-04T00:13:00.000+07:00

He always put a 'sense' in our heart.
and then,
it's all about our awareness..

Life's full of choices..
it's about which path we choose,
which road we took..

few days ago chat with a friend.. and she gave me loads of views, supports, and most of all she hasn't stop offering her friendship, which I would like to treasure. and surprisingly, it's like coming in the right time, just when i needed those back-ups from a friend.. she's there.

forgiveness is easy to say.. but who hears what the heart says? you're not the only one who had the heartbreak.. and then you putting me in the guilty chair as if I did the whole thing myself..
argghh damn ego! damn humans with egos!

a terribly hard choice.

2006-06-28T02:05:00.000+07:00

insomnia-kah gue?
paling cepet tidur jam 12 malem..
rata2 seh jam 1..
tapi jadinya nyiksa krn paginya gw ngantor...
duh.

kenapa yeeee...

an iseng2 quiz

2006-06-25T00:22:00.000+07:00

from a quiz, yg di reference sama si oen.. hehe.. some of them are.. however, kinda true.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. emm.. yea, but im not so straightforward..

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
well.. true romantic, no. will do anything? hehehe reality bites.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. err.. not sure.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. hmm sensible tactics, yes.. hehe.. plenty of dates.. dun think so.

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. i like to study... what i like to study. hehe

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. very much like this.. yea.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. used to, but now.. i'm speeding on the career, babe.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. well, sumtimes this happens. but recently i dont really give a shit.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

mature.. in some cases. reasonable.. most of the time. honest.. always try to. give good advices? hmm i dont really think so.people asking me.. long time ago. and the last sentence is damn true.

2006-06-22T23:48:00.000+07:00

hey ca!
wahahah.. dimanakah engkau koq baru kliatan skarang.. ca.. just drop by here evry month and you could get some silly updates on me.. and yes i've been thru those hard days, up to now :) duh kangen caca!

and yes.. miss chatting with you, ver.. looks that you've got lots of things with u recently ya? see, u don't get a job yet coz He wants u to do more and experience more of those great things :) really miss sharing with u! ;)

i am on a breakdown. what if.. your closest person is the least person you could share with, while that closest person dislike you sharing with someone you could share with?

hmmph. ver, sometimes i just wish to spend another night in your room..

blurry me

2006-06-16T21:35:00.000+07:00

updating..
things still didn't work well between me and her.. but.. who cares anyway? eventho honestly i do care, but if she doesn't? i'll look like sum annoying piece of biatch. halah.
and with him also.. these relationship thingy is driving me crazy. it's so lucky i coudl ran to my works and my final project. putting those craps into a huge trashbag for some time.. hopefully forever.

recently i found my hischool friend is getting a date and goin steady at the moment.. hehe. congrats to u,mai! and she, as how she is.. never stop expressing how great her feelings are. i wanna say thx to u mai, cos u lighten up my days while i was stomped with lots of workloads with your love stories.. hehe.

know what.. suddenly i lost passion being back in the pack. i'm not yet there now, until i've done my final project.. but still.. dont care to get back there. why?????? oh yes she took part but.. i just lost it. probably dropped it somewhere.. gosh. ok lah stop about those stuffs.

i miss hanging out with lith n will.. when no one cares how am i, how should i be, and no one judges me on what i did.. damn it! we'll go after these TA thingy yak. must go. hehehe.. miss dru n sabs also.. sorry for not talkin for sum times guys.. i've been in a hectic hell recently..

i am so unstable and messed up!!!!!!! :(

one great lunch..

2006-06-04T19:43:00.000+07:00

woo-hoo!
this week i had lotsa great times. i had my pra-sidang-visual. it's like.. a preliminary control for my final project's visual designs before we submitted the softcopy and continue wrapping up the project. i was a bit nervous. i took 2 days off from work to get things done - the papers, the visuals. and yea, i pass! with the green stamp on my paper *which means see u in final!* hueheheh.. i feel good, but still feel nervous.. this isnt the end, yet.

i spent last nite in bandung, because today is my grandma's bday. so me n dad took the train at 5. *my mum n bro was there earlier the day before by car* soo.. after arrived at 8, we had dinner at mie naripan *yummy!* udah lama banget gak makan so it tastes like really great :p then.. went straight to grandma's . watching childhood movies, chatting with grandpa.. and sleep, of course. early in the morning went to some distros with my bro... get back home for lunch.

pokoknya lunch hari ni gila2an. everytime i go to bandung pastinya krn ada yg ultah or any wedding anniversary so.. there must a be a big feast. huehehehe. my grandpa ordered chicken hainan rice for all of us, and auntie brought lasagna and ice creams and opera cake. while my mum got this tiramisu package from the bank. oh-my-gosh.. i am so full.. yang pasti puas banget makannya.. hehehe..

after lunch, packing things, then as usual, family portraits.. took photos of us..and we're ready to get back to jkt. we stopped by at my uncle's, checking out his almost-done-renovation.

whatta weekend.. happy birthday oma.. love u much! goin back there soon..

2006-05-16T20:42:00.000+07:00

fiuh. finally really have few secs to blog. hehe. life's been hectic like hell and quite stressful. but yes i do enjoy.. :) actually last nite i feel soooo damn stucked with no ideas.. while i had to submit 40alternatives this thursday. i broke down and cry and i dont have anyone to scream at. i have to buy a dart board, iguess.. so whenever i got pissed and stressed.. just throw the darts.

i feel like leaving vov for a while.. to get more time on the project and to get off from her. yea.. it still sucks, but.. i just dont have any extra energy to put some on it. if she plays hard, why should i be nice girl? hehe.

gue mau gila tapi masa seh gini aja nyeraahhhhh... :p

2006-05-01T00:50:00.000+07:00

do u ever expect certain ppl to remember your birthday? usually i dont. i dont care who remembers and who dont. but i was a bit disappointed when those certain ppl happen to forgot my bday. yea i know its soooooooo nggak penting. but sumhow its just.. meresahkan. huehehe.. males banget seh kata2nya. maybe bcoz they used to, but now they dont. but.. nevermind. i got surprised bcoz there also unexpected ppl do remember, so.. im good! :D

just got back from hrc, and.. im missing having girlfriends to hangout with. dunno its just popped out. its great to have a night out like this one.. live music, great place *and great price :p* donating my first earnings to hrc :p huehehehe.

argg.. this is pms. early one ;) hahahaha *doh a bit dizzy here*

i dun care who u are
where ure from
dont care what u do
as long as u love me baby..

halah.. bener2 mabok nehh..

2006-04-24T00:29:00.000+07:00

feel bored..
feel flat and nothin,
emptiness and silence..

back to a nite-lover,
enjoying silence
and good nice jazz..

how come i be this awful, ay.
again?
how come i didn't learn from the mistakes,
again?
how come..
this is coming again??

damn!

for you

2006-04-18T23:09:00.000+07:00

my mind is occupied, since this morning..
with all the things about you,
who's getting another year added,
.. in 50 minutes from now.. and counting.

i was having a visual flashback in my head,
from our very peaceful days,
to those intense fights,
up to the scandalous fling,
and still going on to some other great stories..

still came clearly in my mind,
its like recalling a set of theatre,
its setting, its actors and its effects..
somehow it's a past that will last,
a history that will stay..

i'm looking back thru the years,
gone by with us,
with the laughs the tears the angers..
and here we are,
still standing..

but for how long?
i don't know..
but to hope forever..
may I?

it's 30 minutes left now,
i probably should race to be the first one..
*wink* :)

2006-04-12T22:23:00.000+07:00

waiting could be so shitty.
ok this is anotha complaining-post so if you don't feel really good just leave. i was clueless looking anyone to share abt my complaining so.. thanks to blogger for becoming my oh-so-true listening ears, oh well..

i was waiting for like 1,5 to 2hrs. with lotsa pending stuff at home.. apa gak bikin pengen marah2 sihhhhhh. arg. if you're goin to say 'tenang lha nyantai aja.,' let me tell you, it doesn't work for me, anymore! everytime i put an ugly face, he will just smile around signaling it's me that's wrong to be so upset. aarrrrggghh. mau marah!

tapi..
ya sudahlah..
kalo gue marah2 mulu yg ada ngabis2in energi gue.. hehehe..

clueless.. abt you, her, me.. blah.

2006-04-10T23:54:00.000+07:00

uh. these days had been so exhausting. sum things were left behind.. sum stuffs were in hand. duh.. betapa gue pengen ntn ice age 2.. tapi koq kayaknya susah amat yaaa.. ga da waktu gitu.. semoga next week abis easter masih ada deghh.. *semoga*

ngantuksss. huaaaaaaaaaaaaa

foto?

2006-04-01T10:36:00.000+07:00

kmrn malem pas nonton tv, ngeliat iklan shampoo apaaa gitu.. *gw ga inget merknya* yang ada cewe lagi moto2 rambut sendiri pake hp krn tu rambut sooo bright and gorgeous. gw jadi inget obrolan ama lith bbrp waktu lalu *well udah aga lama seh* when we saw this oh-so-feminine gal was taking several shots of herself with her cellphone during the class. yaa intinya seh kita menghujat :p spt.. 'ga ada kerjaan laen apa?? penting bgt ya foto2 di kelas?? kayak dia cakep ajah..'

sumtimes gw mikir apakah memang narsisisme udah jadi gaya hidup.. ato emang buat keren2an aja.. well, since the cellphone featured itself with the camera, i guess almost everyone *trutama abg* have some shots of themselves in the phone. with various expressions and style. hihihih..

gw suka difoto.. tp gw ga suka kalo hrs bergaya. gw lebih suka taking pictures than become the model. dan gw lebih suka dipoto candid.. where the photographer could save a natural expression of mine in less than a second. haha.

halah.

skyseeing

2006-03-31T21:05:00.000+07:00

a record from yesterday's day off in puncak. exhausting but fun. getting to know more about some people which i just knew by name. i thought this will be kinda boring or else but.. it ended up quite cheerfully.

my first week at work was way too easy, i guess. the pressure aren't really torturing, and the people were nice. and most of all.. i just love the things i did. i just realized i was drown into the busy world of forcing my brain putting up the words on the papers and having my working days.. totally screwed. but i feel more alive with somehing to do, rather than doing nothing and getting myself dumb.

i wanna laugh on the things they started to ask on me. ha ha ha. but it'll come up soon or later, so.. just give them the sweetest smile and a damn good reason.

anyway..
i hate this weekend doing nothin.. *mau jalan2!* makan.. nonton.. blanja.. HIKS.

reality really bites. ouch.

2006-03-20T22:38:00.000+07:00

i have lots.. well, like loads of pending issues. and the thing finally got me off my limits. and so i sucessfully brought myself to my lowest point, crashing my ego and, apologize. and it all came so true as what i've thought. ooo yea, reality bites. really bites. -tadi malem g sms her,siang ni gw ketemu her close friend at the mall. i'm wif him.so stupid,ay?-

coz however, i actually know that the end hasn't arrive at all.. now i have to crash another 'wall', to conquer these stormy life bites... sumtimes i just wonder, why now? why not later or back in the past days? why oh why.. well i know it's a part of His master plan. somehow we human only do the complains rather than the thanks.. *sigh*

tadi pagi ngumpul di perpus sama lith, trnyt ada icus jg.. trus later on ada muli, alvin n yuli.. gw ga terlalu deket sama the last 3 names.. but at least dengan sama2 pusing ngerjain ta yg ternyata cukup menyebalkan ini.. we do share the same thing.

thank you for the effort to forgive me..
i know i can do nothing else,
but asking you that.

duh, kerjaan gue super banyak.. :( hiks.

smileeeee smileeee big smileeeee... ^_^

2006-03-18T18:53:00.000+07:00

one of the sweet things in life :
when people around you happily help you
but the sweetest is,
when you can help others with a big smile and a big heart.

anywaeeee...
today i try to smile at her. oh yea, relieving.. but i guess she's still reluctant. hoo cares.. :p today is not so fine. i hate getting number 6 or 7 because i have to wait like 5 hours to just have a 30-min meeting with my lecturer. shoo. and.. i took the job.. started next week like on wed, cos i have to do some others first.. let see how far can i survive the things coming :p

btw, my new frenchclass was great. its around 15ppl, and naw i have a female teacher. she's funny and nice. and.. ya knaw.. sumtimes i feel like vewwy lazy getting my ass off to get to salemba, ut when i get into the class, i feel i dont wanna leave :) whatta spell they had on me, huh?

d-uh. laper. ngantuk. sakit kepala.. hiks hiks.

.. halah!

2006-03-16T10:25:00.000+07:00

so.. last night i met the guy, well.. his name is william.. the one who offered me a job. i had a look on their portfolios and he also checked out mine. he said that my portfolios fits his idealism most than the other candidates he had seen before, and he wanted me in. i try to explain that this is a really quick offer and, i don't really expect a fulltime job while i'm still doing my final project. but to be honest, this is a place where i really wanna work in. a corporate design specialist. arrghh..

so i'm still thinking and he'll be expecting an answer by tomorrow.. >.<

btw, we had the meeting at TA yesterday, in a chocolate cafe *is it?* named Reed.. dan.. gw udah lama ga ke ta, sekalinya ke ta cuma nonton and makan di Fish n Co. dan gw baru tau ada cafe ini which is udah ada since last year. tempatnya enak, lumayan cozy and offers sumthin that other cafes in ta don't offer such as choc fondue, various chocolate beverages and pastries. it is located right above Coffee Bean. the hot chocolate is great, but still.. 22.5k. mahal juga euy.. hehe. kata temen gw.. mirip sama max brenner yg ada di aussie. sabs juga pernah bawain gw coklatnya max brenner and it's yummy.. ahh. i should go back there lah. :p

being occupied a lil bit made me forgets all those stupid thoughts. but last nite after dinner it came up like this.

him : mo nungguin gak bentar?
me : ngga ah, males ntar dijutekin ama temen lo..
him : halah, ada juga elo yg jutekin orang..
me : ...

and what in my mind was.. issit me, darling, who turn off their faces while talking to me and issit me who outcasted me during the sessions, and issit me who build a defensive group? towards me? *bingung kan lo..*

oh yes probably it's only all about me. the damn pathetic sensitive melancholic biatch. shoot.

i thank You for evrything!

2006-03-14T21:13:00.000+07:00

sumtimes i just think God answers my prayers way too easy. or maybe not actually like that, maybe He wants me to have a deep think responding to His quick answers.

i said i need a job. well, i mean was like freelance projects..
then Ai msg me told me that she gave my number to this guy that needed a designer.
today the guy phoned me and said that he urgently need someone to work fulltime, with a fresh graduate payment *pdhl sy blum graduate*, and willing to see my portfolio tmorrow afternoon.

trus TA gw gemana dunksss..?? hihihi. tawaran yg sangat amat menggiurkan seh.. tapi.. we'll see if they agreed to have me part-time.. because i don't think of a fulltime job and a final project will go along nicely.. :p

three of us.. goin' krazy :p

2006-03-14T01:02:00.000+07:00

blah.,

2006-03-13T15:06:00.000+07:00

3pm:

uh uh. well it's making me lazy when you only attend the class once a week. monday to friday was like hell.. yea, i'm doing my papers but.. it doesn't really took the whole 5 days. so i went to have a haircut today. haha.. lama ngga ke salon neh, maklum degh gw ga gitu interest ke salon.. dalam setaon bisa diitung brapa kali gw ke salon. ;) but today was fun.. i like my new haircut.. well at least it's another new me.. :p

i like blog-hopping. to see other people's mind on the writings.. and i guess this one boring blog *which the medias said this is a new-some-kind-of-a-trend* is my one good friend to kill time, boredom, and to pour out all the shiets outta my head.

8.30pm:

oohh yea it sucks. i suppose to attend the french class but the jam is killing so i decided to go back home.. and here i am. should i do this thing that keep playing in my mind? that probably looks great and decent and makes me a very nice gal. halah. i want no more crashes.

uhhhhhh bokek tapi pengen vanilla cappucinno.. hiks!

hohoho.

2006-03-11T14:47:00.000+07:00

long time no see, eh?
jadi ceritanya saya lagi bikin tugas akhir neh.. a.k.a skripsi. which is yg bikin gue rada 'cape' ngejelasin ke orang2 adalah menjawab pertanyaan : oh kalo desain mah skripsinya cuma ngegambar2 doang dong?

*gubrakk* pengen gw lempar sendal deh. yahh.. hare gene emang gak smua orang ngerti seh gue tuh kuliah apa. gw nyebut dkv kaga ngerti.. dikasih tau kepanjangannya apa lagi. kalo gue nyebut desain grafis.. bakal ditanya lagi.. bakal ngapain tuh kerjanya? halahhh panjang deh. hehehe.. kalo kata sabs, yah inilah saatnya kita meng-educate orang2 yang belum ngerti itu. tapi kalo udah gitu orangnya nyolot dan sotoy kan gw males juga, man.

jadi setelah sekian lama gw ga ke kampus, sekarang regularly ngampus lagi tiap sabtu pagi. tetep aja, senen-jumat gw garing. ehh yaa sekarang sih bakal mulai sibuk krn bakal mulai dipenuhi sama deadline2 ta. tapi hepi juga.. krn brarti bisa seseruan bareng lidia ma tejo lagi.. ditambah lg ada dodo.. hehe. nyela-nyela ga jelas.. becandaan.. ngegosip.. huehehe. to see the fact that we're leaving the campus soon.. is relieving, but also hard..

and talking bout leaving.. it's not that easy leaving my writing needs. i feel like writing and somehow pour out the buried stuff out thru the writings. i'm not some kind of those extroverties. i actually am in a tension with someone.. but somehow i just couldn't handle it any wiser. i don't understand and for the time being.. it's just exhausting me to death to handle it while i have my final project to catch and also some family matters which resulted they sold my lovely katana. hiksssssssssssss! i have no damn car rite naw. well, actually not merely because of not having one, but.. i've already felt attached. hehehe.. mmhh.. and i also have to find a job, soon.. i guess.

aahh got to go naw. will be back, promise.. ;)

2006-02-19T01:00:00.000+07:00

well, yeah i've been such a complainer recently..
but who cares.

i guess i was quite a nice gal back then,
and naw i know i've been so mean, too.

for some cliche reasons, i just wanna say i'm confused. i could put the 'me being mean' because i just didn't realize 'em. or it's just the complicated me. or many more things to come and well said, hey, lagi itu gue lagi 'kacau'. halah. basi.

so trashy uh. it's hard to be in a very 'tight' community. but it's been a blessing, too. at least i have sth called 'community control'. hehehe.. sounds like one of my sociology topics while in high school.. :p

well.. i was put in a sit where i see myself in some other perspective. and, i see.. no good. no good at all. it's killing me for a while. then it's eating up my self-confidence slowly. and i'm feeling like going back to the 'silent me' will be great, for being the 'speak up me' was giving me some hard times. arrgggggh. but then maybe it's not the right thought anyway. *damn melancholics*

oh yea, happy valentine's day, peeps. i don't get lovely presents like you've got, cinnzeo :p i had some late supper with friends at sandwich bakar. nice crowded place, but foods are okay lah.

enuff said.. last info, i'm back with him. what???? yea, it's not mis-typed. some may said stupid, or prolly like i said, being mean.. but it's a life with bunch of choices, ay? and here goes my choice. and it's never feels 100% good for everyone, not even me, actually.. ;)

and now i have to focus on my final project.. tugas akhir! yang sangat amat membangkitkan kemalasan.. hihihi.. i want to have that s.sn title soon.. menyusul vero yang udah ST.. congrats, you girl.. :) one bloody week ahead, road to part 1 of my final project story. let's pay attention! :p

udah pagi.. bobo agh..

blank blank blank

2006-02-09T23:03:00.000+07:00

euh.. for some times i feel like.. blank.

i mean, it's like i'm doing everything plain. no topping. no taste. no special sauce. no extra cheese. *loh koq?* hehehe.. well yeah. i've been thru those crazy nites, but there's still those days to go, rite? and these days i'm goin thru is like.. argggghhh.

y'know it's driving me crazy for times when the 'thinker me' came down and pay a visit to my mind. well yea, i'm a dreamer.. but sumtimes it's just goes too far. well, damn too far. ah. hate it..

i think i have a personality problem.. *bwahaha* i always misplaced the 'thinker me' and the 'who cares' me. oh, a nice phrase : personality disorder. great. have a nice life, mar!

ps.
oen.. stelah membaca postinganmu dan ber-comment disana.. i just realize kalo gue juga kayak gitu.. haha.. suka *sering* parno gak jelas.. well, special case sih.. tapi skarang sedang blajar get over it.. hihihi..

be thankful..

2006-02-04T17:05:00.000+07:00

I've been blog-walking for few days,
and i got sumthing that actually, basic..
but we often just forget it..
to be thankful.. and list 'em up!

so today, i'm thankful for..

my family
my friends (all of 'em)
food to eat, house to live in, school to go.. ;)
creativity
love
my church community
those techno-stuff *haha
every single probs i've gone thru
those nice people who keep supporting me
*even tho i rarely meet them ;)
hot chocolate
art
stars
rains

...
and i believe the list continues..

well basically,
i thank for the life, and every single thing He gave me..

I Will Fly.. euh?

2006-01-29T23:32:00.000+07:00

ben, thanks.. ^-^
hi oen *waves* yep i'm here again.. ;)
______________________________________

*lagi pengen nyanyi inih.. tp dengan sedikit penyesuaian.. maap ya ten2five*

I know all of things you've said
I know all of things that we had done
And things you gave to me

There's a chance for me to say
How precious you are in my life
And you know that is true

*To be with you is all that I need
Cause with you my life seems brighter
And these are all the things i wanna say

Chorus:
I will fly into your arms
and be with you till the end of time
Why are you so far away
You know it's very hard for me
to get myself close to you

You're the reason why I stay
I'm the one who cannot believe
Our love will never end

Is it only in my dreams
I'm the one who cannot see this
How could I be so blind

back to *
______________________________________

happy chinese new year, fellows..
I always become the weirdest for not celebrating it.. haha..
so, ready to share your today's income? ;)
kasihani gw lah kaga perna dapet angpao.. hihihihi..

2006-01-26T23:15:00.000+07:00

euh. thx yog.. :D
yep.. i have tried to take it as easy as i can but..
hehehe..

jadi kaluh saya disini ketawa-ketawa gak jelas,
itu kamuflase belaka.
bisa jadi sebenernya sebelum ato abis ini gue nangis2 ga jelas.. :p

I use to see myself, just fine, with a big F.
or for some cases, very fine..
I'm living an ordinary life with its all ups and downs..
I made my own decisions, I live my life happily.

until.. last christmas.. and everything went after.
yea, it will be a damn memorable moment, ever.
no, i'm not cursing the people..
i'm cursing myself naw..
terlebih setelah gw tau gw adalah melancholic parah..
that didn't realize what she had done..

hhh.. so i kinda worry about myself..

why am i so weak and worthless and emotional and .. damn it!
I'm not that strong.. i'm breakable, i'm broken.. i'm into pieces..
am i doing the damn right thing? or i'm into another deep dark hole..
shoot..

2006-01-25T11:54:00.000+07:00

sebulan lalu berat gw turun 3 kilo-an dalam 2 minggu. halah.
*jangan tanya kenapa*
sekarang dah naek lagi 1 kilo.

asli deh, mood bener2 menentukan nafsu makan..
tapi asik juga kalo gue ga pengen makan tanpa merasa kelaparan..
kan bisa kurus tanpa diet.. hihihi..

skarang seh.. masih so-so gitu nafsu makannya..
tp lg demen chocolate bbrp hr ni..
*pdhl biasanya seh ada juga dianggurin aje*

i'm still in the middle of something..
i don't feel it's really right..
ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

I'm back.. ^_^

2006-01-18T23:27:00.000+07:00

one of a quote yang menusuk di hati.. *ben, pinjem yaaa.. dgn sedikit penyesuaian..*

We meet someone to love
at the right place and a right time by chance,
but to stay beside him
and loving him for the rest of your life by choice.

life, is about choices.
and that's what I've just learn.

2006-01-02T14:08:00.000+07:00

i think i'll be off from this blogging thingie for a while.. and might not be online on the messenger, too. don't ask why, it's just i think i need some time to re-arrange my life..

any contacts could be made thru my email.. ok?

happy new year!

the whole pack

2005-12-30T12:31:00.000+07:00

van deventer, bandung 24 dec 2005

my auntie-my cousin caisa-my uncle-my bro-my cousin dio-my mom, my dad and me,

my grandpa and my grandma

ahh.. here's a family photo which i enjoy so much. ga perlu di studio dengan pakaian formal dsb dst.. the thing is we have the warmth of a family :)

If Only

2005-12-29T23:29:00.000+07:00

buat yg minta puisi lagi :p

if only
you were here tonight
staring at the twinkling lights with me

if only
you hug me and hold me tight
sharing the warmth through the cold breezes

if only
my wish come true
and I could have my dreams for real

I'll keep you forever by my side..

June 8, 2002 – bluemint

puisi jatuh cinta yang ngga sempet disampaikan.. jadi sampe skrg gue juga ga tau dia tuh dulu tau apa ngga ya? hehehe.. anyway orangnya juga udah nun jauh di belahan benua lain.. nah lo siapa tuh? :p dan masih banyak puisi2 norak sok jatuh cinta milik bluemint. tunggu kehadirannya di blog yg sama. lahh koq jadi kayak iklam program teve. huehehehe.. ahh.

i miss you.

2005-12-29T23:09:00.000+07:00

di tengah2 kacaunya hari kemarin, gw nemenin my lil sista nonton the chronicles of narnia di ta. couldn't enjoy seratus persen sih. but it's ok lah. trus makan kebab, since dia blom pernah makan kebab.. hehe.. trus ke toko buku, krn dia mau beli komik. gw ga niatan beli buku, tapi gue nekat nyamber salah satu novel lokal yang ngga sepopuler chikclit2 itu, tapi looks not so bad waktu gue baca sinopsisnya. gue pikir.. ya udah lah buat ngilang2in suntuk dan masalah hati, mendingan yg ringan2 ajah dulu. and ternyata buku itu lumayan.. gak norak2 abg kayak chicklit.. gak sok gaul bahasanya.. ceritanya biasa, tapi entah kenapa buat gue jadi luar biasa. mungkin jadi penghiburan tersendiri juga buat gw.. ver, thanks buat chatnya semalem ya! :)

hari ini nemenin my sista bikin polymer clay, bikin strawberry juice trus nonton tv.. malemnya gue ngeles trus abis itu nemenin dia browsing anime di internet.. besok dia dah balik ke bdg :)

like everybody said.. cure needs time. then i'll just wait here, i guess. and see how the time will bring us in a better and better situation..

Setiap orang memiliki kesempatan menemukan dan memperjuangkan cinta sejatinya.. orang itu bisa siapa saja, tapi hanya satu di antara semua. -Adrian ~ Cahaya Cinta Alicia.

i miss you.

In His Time

2005-12-29T12:16:00.000+07:00

In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful, in His time
Lord please show me everyday
As You're teaching me Your way
That You do just what You say
In Your time

In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful, in Your time
Lord to You my life I bring
May each song I have to sing
Be to You a lovely thing
In Your time

i sang this song when one night i broke down into tears,
and when i feel i don't have any strength anymore..
and it helps.

don't quit!

2005-12-27T22:04:00.000+07:00

hm.

i made kinda a brave decision this morning. i broke into tears again since waking up.. so i ran to my mom. i know, it's like a 5 year-old that just had a nightmare. but maybe that's not wrong either. i'm 22 and i'm in the middle of (literally) my nightmare. and i was so glad i have her.. we do have quarrels.. but she's the best after all.

3 supporters in one day, isn't that great? my mom, my 'sis in christ', and my friend. how can i not thank God for them?

and the thing is i went to that gathering :) yes, it's hurting. it's killing, actually. tapi mungkin memang bener.. apa yg slama ini gue suka bilang sama org2.. running from your problems won't change anything. i said before, i quit, i won't come.. but i face them today. although still i happenned to hold some moments which i feel like my crystals coming down again.. but i don't want to show it. i don't want to hurt anyone again. cukup gue aja.. i dunno if i'm doing well.. pulangnya sih teteup, rasanya nusuk abis. but hey, face life! don't quit - kata kakak. she asked me to meet and talk. but i dunno.. do i have to? actually i need a counselling kali yeee..huah.

but sore ini i feel more 'light'.. then gue pikir : kalo besok2 dicoba lagi juga mungkin bakal biasa deh lama2. tapi sorean gw dapet kabar .. yang bikin gue bingung. this situation is kacau abis deh. dari minggu kemaren sampe hari ni judulnya tetep kacau. dah 2 malem kayaknya gue bener2 tidur cuma 2 jam-an. kacau gak tuh.

well.. screwed up.. messed up.
lesson learned : don't quit.

my poems

2005-12-26T13:27:00.000+07:00

hari ini gw kayak orang bingung..
trus keinget kumpulan puisi gw.. gw baca2 lagi.. koq bisa ya lagi itu gw sampe 6 bulan lebih bertahan.. i dunno if i could do it this time. hehehe.. 6 bulan dengan puisi2 'berdarah'. halahhh..

pengen sih dipublish.. tapi males :p

tapi dibaca2 lagi.. koq bisa ya bikin puisi se-ngeri itu?

Tumpah

Malam itu
Riak bahagia mengalir.
Jiwaku melimpah.
Membanjiri hati.
Tumpah.

Tapi kemudian tercecer.
Jatuh berserakan.

Kucoba memunguti
Namun aku menggenggam pasir.
Meraih kesia-siaan.

Bahagia itu memang indah.
Tapi membuat berdarah..

June 14, 2002 - bluemint

halahhhh.. huehehehe.. dan masih banyak lagi yg kayak gini.. beberapa agak2 sesuai dengan sikon hati sekarang seh.. :p

All Things Are Possible

2005-12-26T11:55:00.000+07:00

Almighty God my Redeemer, my hiding place, my strong refuge
No other name like Jesus, no power can stand against you
My feet are planted on this rock and I will not be shaken
My hope it comes from you alone, my Rock and my Salvation

Your praise is always on my lips,
Your Word is living in my heart
And I will praise you with a new song,
my soul will bless you Lord

You fill my life with greater joy,
as I delight myself in you
And I will praise you with a new song,
my soul will bless you Lord

When I am weak you make me strong,
When I'm poor, I know I'm rich
for in the power of your name
All things are possible, all things are possible

Your praise is always on my lips,
your Word is living in my heart
And I will praise you with a new song,
my soul will be bless you Lord

You fill my life with greater joy,
as I delight myself in you
And I will praise you with a new song,
my soul will bless you Lord

as I possible to stand up and be strong..

end of 2005..

2005-12-26T09:36:00.000+07:00

Ngga kerasa udah di akhir tahun 2005. It's been a tough year, a hard one, but also wonderful in its own way. I specially learn a lot..

I learn lots of new things during my internship. I met new people, exploring new environment, and mostly, I got much more of new things that enriched my knowledge.opening my eyes more about my future job and career.

I learn about the meaning of family. I rarely have time for them during the earlier years if my college. I look up to my friends and lover more than to take a look at them. Now, I feel so blessed to have a family like them, despite all the quarrells and hurts happenned. They're the people who will stay there with you, while the rest of the world are turning their back on you. God has put them to take care of each other in the family. love ya mom, dad n bro..

I learn about love. okay it's cliche, it's very common, but i guess everyone have their own process of getting to understand it, to appreciate it. I learn about broken heart as well. I learn about hurting and being hurted, pain and heartaches. I learn about letting go and get over things.. but also to fight for what needed.

I learn about being strong, to stand up by myself, to take risks, and to be honest to myself and other people. I'm not a strong person, and i'm not a risk-taker, but i try to do so..

I learn to face the people who turns their back to me.. learn about friendships..

and most of all, I have a great wonderful teacher.. my Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas..

2005-12-25T23:33:00.000+07:00

ah. the cloudiest xmas i've ever had. well.. kalo kata teman2ku.. adanya istilah tabur-tuai, ga ada tuh karma2an. hehe.. mungkin gue sedang menuai apa yg gue tabur dua bulan lalu itu. *arg*

halahhhhhh.

sialnya, lagunya tadi di la piazza, live, nonjok bener.*jadi kayak di sinetron2 gitu* hahahaha.
sekarang seh ketawa. tadi susah payah nahan air mata. *sigh*

kalo pernah ngerasain jadi piring pecah berkeping2.. *well sapa tau* begitulah saya 6 jam yang lalu sampai saat ini. *well, sekarang mendingan seh ~ thx to vero yang udah nemenin*

btw, ini natal yang paling ga berasa. gue ikut ibadah pun ga berasa. ga-wat. God, help me going through this ya..

you still own my heart.

wooooooossssssshhhhh

2005-12-21T22:53:00.000+07:00

ga tau deh apa gw yg slalu salah nangkep ato terlalu well-managed.. gue ga tau kalo vov mo pake seragam yg itu.. gue ingetnya cuma dibilang putih2.. dua kali neh kayak gini. dah beli baju taunya mau diseragamin. nyebelin ah.

hmm.. terserah deh. yg penting besok mau ke bandung (baca: udara sejuk, makan enak dan ngumpul2) .. senangnyaaaaa..
menghilang dulu sampe natalan yaaa :D

Merry Christmas everyone.. may your heart filled with the Joy that only from Him :)

ben : mo ketemuan di bdg? heheheh.. :p

fam gathering

2005-12-19T16:05:00.000+07:00

last night was one from twice-a-year family gathering *this is my dad's families* ternyata bukan di cirendeu *gue kira bakal jauh bgt* tapi di rumah salah satu oma *well my dad has like 5 aunties* di cipete.. tetep jauh seh.. hehehe.. nyampe sana dah ampir jam 8 gitu.. nyampe langsung sharing2 firman tuhan sekitar 1/2 jam gitu.. trus makan deh! wuahaha.. i love poffertjes n bitterballen nya oma tjuan! yummy.. and the meal was great, but most of all the gathering itself was great. ketemu seh gak sering2, abis rumahnya pada jauh2an.. tapi sekali ketemu.. kayaknya rame banget, so homey and warm.. :) si ade dah mao lulus sma.. and kezia dah smp lho! wahaha.. kalo yg laen2 seh masih kecil2.. dulu waktu gue kecil belon serame itu sampe bisa maen2 bareng.. yg umurnya paling deket cuma nana and dia dah ke singapore sejak smp. waa pokoknya semalem seru banget deh.. termasuk seseruan bareng om2 gue yg kelakuan nggak matching ama umurnya.. wahahaha... we'll meet again next year ya..

hari ni nemenin nyokap shopping ke te-a.. beli kado buat cross-kado di bandung nanti.. *kali ini keluarga nyokap* haaaa ternyata melelahkan banget ya cari kado ituh. kalo satu sih masih ok. ini buat 6 orang. *sigh* tadi aja jadinya baru kebeli buat 2.. trus nyokap juga belanja baju. gue juga seh.. biasanya kalo gue dah lama gak liat mal bakalan pengen2nya banyak.. tapi tadi cuma ngebeli 1 tuh. sayang gitu ama duit gue hasil kerja.. hiks hiks.. hehehe..

yahh.. it's christmas soon yaa.. gonna be a busy week.. :)

sblum asistensi report kp

2005-12-16T12:18:00.000+07:00

hmm whatta day. finally bisa bangun siang! huehehehe...

well.. yesterday was an exhausting day, but still i'm happy. lately i become someone more thankful instead complaining. i dunno. when you could see things in from different views.. it's just amazing how we have those abilities God's given.

the print ad was on due yesterday, and it should be sent to the media that day. but since 11am, all i've got is revisions every an hour. geez.. forget all those bca's stuffs. this is way more awful. but somehow i don't feel that awful. maybe because my fellows there that helping me so much! yea.. ternyata layout gue salah size, it's suppose to be 300dpi, but i made it in 72 instead. and i am so thankful that fery check on my works and later on, he and grace helps me to re-make the layout while i'm correcting all the addresses revisions. well finally bukan gue juga seh yg bikin FA-nya.. :) but hey, my other print ad was in kompas yesterday.. haha.. well it's not a great one, but.. gimana se rasanya liat kerjaan sendiri dipublish?? secara gue masih anak magang gitu loh! hihihih wait for the other one next monday.. :)

yesterday also my last day at work.. for i have to get my reports done during next week, and next year they'll have a new creative replacing ferry. been there for 13 weeks was a blast. learn so many things, get to know new people.. i don't think it'll be easy to find other place that offers all in one pack : job, fun, and family. iyaa.. meski cuma 3 bulan, tapi kayaknya semua udah jadi part of my daily life.. rina, ci lian, mas putro, grace, ferry.. and the bosses mr jeff and mr don. halahhhhh saya bakalan kangen berats!

eh ver.. roti bakarnya.. lumayan loh... better than kd's :p

cerita hr inih..

2005-12-14T22:55:00.000+07:00

hmm daripada bete2.. gue mau cerita ajah..

hari ni.. bangun pagi2, ngerjain re-design logo bokap.. trus ngantor. which is nunggu revisian doank yg ternyata baru dateng jam 5 sore. malesin ga seh. trus pas di jalan ke kantor gue baru inget.. i don't bring my cellphone. i left in on my bed.. shoot. tapi koq gue gak panik ya. gue pikir.. yasudahlah, toh di kantor ada telpon. biasanya kalo gue ketinggalan hp tuh gue bisa bela2in balik ke rumah buat ngambil.. secara itu barang penting gitu lho :p dari pagi bos ama ci lian pergi meeting.. rina gak masuk. so gue maen2 zuma aja di belakang.. bantu2in ngecek email, send email, ama ngecek gmail gue. hehe.. siangan grace juga cabut buat photo session. tinggal gue, mas putro and ferry. sepi abis. siangan juga gue baru ada kerjaan edit layout print ad buat media daerah.. itu juga cuma sejam-an. sisanya.. ya gue ga ngapa2in juga. bulak balik buku design, coret2.. nyela2 ferry yg tinggal besok ke kantornya *mau resign die* sampe jam 6an udah bener2 ready to go, tp krn keasikan ngobrol2 baru cabut jam 6.15.

sampe rumah liat hp.. oh no! gw lupa ada latian :p itu juga pake acara gue udah ngobrol2 dulu ama nyokap. blon ngeprint logo pula. halah.. ya telat gitu de jadinya. trus rapat natal. agak gimanaa gitu seh gue.. yahh bertanya2 aja.. apa iya nyatain kesalahan org mesti gitu caranya? ato guenya aja yg lg sensi kali yeee.. yah next time kudu asistensi dulu pake carbon copy ke smua kali ye. tapi emang gue lg gak pay attention ke sana pas ngerjainnya seh.. gue ketohok aja liat those kind of actions.. halah. sutralagh.. :p

sooo.. this weekend is going to be very busy.. i have to do really lots of paperwork.. and then do the christmas shopping.. :D

if you think i'm that tough, then i'm not.
i'm as fragile as everyone else..

2005-12-14T22:41:00.000+07:00

emang susah jadi manusia.
apalagi kalo punya salah.
merasa bersalah, bakal lebih disalah2in. "gak usah sok sedih deh, kan elo juga yg salah."
biasa aja, gak brarti fine. "tuh kan bener emang dia sucks."

di umur gue yg segini, kadang pengennya bisa be mature in everything.
but hey, kadang gue susah banget go out from my childish side.. halahhhh!
kayaknya gue ada personality disorder deh nehhhh.. ahh whateva.

damn~!

happy weekend! :)

2005-12-10T22:54:00.000+07:00

finally.. i've done my internship yooo!! huehehe.. akhirnya slesai juga :) 12 weeks.. but it feels like just yesterday when i was so worried about the office, the new people and the work itself.. but my bosses said i'm doing well, and they're expecting me to come again next monday, as a freelancer, with a graduate payment. hahhhh.. i'm speechless then. they paid my 12-week lunch money and a very-very precious gift.. a cool design book! *well they prolly know i can't afford one* so, my friday was great.

saturday, wasn't really good at the beginning.. the lecturer came late, and oh.. our topic today is about time management *sigh* untung dia ngaku kalo dia salah.. then, i decided to take a bus on the way home.. but it was an awful one.. banyak cowo2 ga jelas gitu deh.. and also happen waktu gue naek bemo.. kayaknya gue udah lama banget ngga naek public transport, sekalinya naek.. whatta lousy experience.. yagh.. maybe later better take a taxi, huh?

after finished the christmas poster and flyer.. we *my family an i* went to eX.. browsing thru those bookshops *and buy none* , a quick dinner.. and take a walk togetha.. it's been a long time since our last family-time.. and i'm feeling happy gitu lohh :D

ahh.. still have some papers to do!
btw, happy weekend evryone.. happy night shift? :p huehehe..

2005-12-08T22:53:00.000+07:00

ehh kemaren malem abis rapat natal makan ke strawberry cafe.. ampir the whole panitia ikutan.. hehe.. ehmm gw baru tau seh ada tu cafe di sebelah markas pool... well, quite a unique cafe that offers board games instead just food. tapi makanannya juga lumayan lah.. :) dah lumayan lama gw ga hang-out ama temen2 greja.. trakhir ke menteng yg baru2 aja and kemaren malem.. too busy eh? *sok sibuk* hehehe..

but emang hang out gitu meaning banget di tengah2 hectic-nya kerjaan.. meski sama2 cape pulangnya tapi yah at least ada ketawa2nya.. hehe..

ga kerasa neh natal tinggal 2 minggu ?? times flies yakk.. well, agak beda seh.. for the last 5 years dari october pasti udah bulak balik greja latian ini dan itu.. this christmas agak santai.. *tapi tetep gue sibuk internship* and this christmas bakal ke bandung! huehehe.. senangnya.. dah lama gak natalan sama my family di sono.. pengen juga seh natalan with friends.. but i guess they won't go anywhere.. masih ada new year's eve juga.. sedangkan keluarga ga sering2 bisa ketemuan dan ngumpul.. and i don't know if there's still the complete us next christmas.. hiks.. kangen!

je m'ennuie de mes grand-pères, et leur maison, ma tante et mon oncle, et mes cousins. je veux dépenser ce Noël avec ma famille.

gak jelas..

2005-12-06T23:40:00.000+07:00

okay, three posts in a night. i am damn screwed. i feel like typing something, but i just have no idea what to type. okay, let's say i'm exercising my english *coz it's getting lame*

today's workload is awful.. it's like, loads of revisions on the lay out i've been working for these two weeks.. arrghh.. and it's still continues tomorrow morning :( ah yes i do enjoy this work.. and it helps me to get over some lousy feelings.. but one thing.. even if i got heavy headaches or painful stomachaches.. i still enjoy looking at the mac's screen :) huehehe..

hmm.. my french class is more than great.. nice friends, great teacher.. i'm enjoying the learning process from zero :) ahh one interesting thing.. everytime i'm answering questions about what course i'm taking.. it will turn out as this : ohh.. why not mandarin? *happened more than 5 times, i guess* and usually i just give a smile or a simple 'i just want the french, not that one'

just because i appear so-called-alike-chinese, so i obligated to learn my-so-called-ancestor's language?? please lah. okay it's a bussiness-world language, and suddenly all over you is learning it.. but not me, okay? coz i feel like indonesian instead of.. chinese.

like in a conversation some time ago.. yea 'soalnya kan gue orang x, yg historinya begini.. jadi ya gini..'
soooooo??????? i dunno. but for me.. it's not important. it's true that your historical story might make what you are now, but that's not a main thing to be put in front..

basi seh, but whatever you say : gue cina abal2 sekalipun.. i don't care lah. :p haduh.. gue ngoceh apa seh malem2 gini.. :p

2005-12-06T23:11:00.000+07:00

shoot. it's burning..

kenapa kalo gue denger lagu di blog si yogi ituh jadi mellow ya?.. trus jd pengen nangis.. *ah dasar sensi!*

nyokap dan blog?

2005-12-06T19:51:00.000+07:00

nyokap : kamu ikutan maen2 blog juga?
gue : iya, kenapa?
nyokap : ati2 kalo nulis.. kan namanya di website gituh smua orang bisa baca.. ntar kenapa2 lagi..
gue : emangnya kenapa?
nyokap : yaa.. di milis aja bisa rame..bisa brantem.. ya..
gue : ???

hm. yahh.. i know there's some people reading my blog without i know who are you GUYS. maybe they just don't want me to know they did some visits, or they just don't have the guts.. i don't care. and if my writings might create another opinion or whatsoever other unimportant things.. i don't care either. but, hey.. these are my words and i have try as good as i can not to insult anyone, or attacking anyone, any parties or whatever.. yah maapin aje kalo ada salah2 kate. secara nobody's perfect, gitu lohhh. fyi, i'm trying to be a peace-lover.. well, at least i try. :p

*big sweet smile*

pieces of me falling..

2005-12-05T23:14:00.000+07:00

kata mr.cinnzeo.. blog gue semakin ngga jelas isinya. *sigh*

this week supposed to be my last week at the office.. but the bosses asked me to stay until christmas.. ah well.. actually my laziness was taking control in some times.. but, i have fall in love with this job i'm doing, and also with this place where i'm working.

men at work, i believe the name was there because there used to be 2 men only, which are, my bosses now. you could barely tell it's an office. or even an advertising agency. you'll see a black-2-metres high-front gate, and no way you could see what's inside from the street. and oh yea, a hidden cam in your upper left. sounds like.. a storage? huehehehe..

but inside, there's a lot of fun and of course, hardwork. it's only eight of us, or oftenly only 6 or 7.. a small studio, a tiny administration corner, and a dining/meeting room completes us. i've been here for three months, and i feel sooooooo.. bad to leave.

12 weeks before.. all i feel is worries about new place and working with new people.. but now.. i'm having my great times with you guys at 'men at work'..

woo hoo.. design rules, babe! :D i love my world. so much..

2005-12-02T22:41:00.000+07:00

iya ver.. kalo maen api pasti kebakar juga dikit2.. tak mungkin nggak..
*like i am naw*

ugh.

jujurlah padakuuuuuuuu... :p

2005-12-01T22:06:00.000+07:00

*sigh* udara malem ni ga bersahabat banget.. dingin! huehehehe.. IE gue dah mulai suka ngehang2.. trus si mr. windows udah alert gue lantaran memori udah mau abis. bwahahah.. iya neh dah 3 bulanan nggak ngerapihin isi komputer.. semua project bertebaran.. images2 cliparts dan .fh bertumpuk2an ga jelas.. blom nge-back up.. paRah! so.. I guess I have to start it soon..

tadi perjalanan dari salemba-jelambar entah gue kesambet apah.. i recalled a little part of my past.*halah bahasanyah!* err.. yea those lousy parts. dan gue mikir.. dari sekian banyak cowo *lah emang ada brapa seh* yang deket (baca:pdkt) ama gue.. *gak banyak seh, tapi ada lah!* cuma segelintir yang berani bener2 nyatain.. sisanya kalo gak gue yang nanya duluan, lalu baru dia say it out.. ya lewat begitu ajah. err.. this statement ga bermaksud apa2 lho.. it's just happen to come up in my mind just now *well at least for the past 2 hours* and i love to laugh at my old days when those things happened. segelintir itu termasuk.. him yg udah punya junior, jack who sent me lovely cards back then *iye elo!*, and.. him who make my days colourful yet painful.. *tsahh.. emang gak penting banget deh ah*

intinya.. emang susyah jujur sama diri sendiri dan sama orang lain, even tho' they're the one you care about.. huh? at least gitu seh buat gue. and now, I'm learning to be one honest girl, with attitude pastinyah. hehehe.. secara gak jujur bikin menderita diri sendiri gitu lho.. :p

huaaaaa sakit pala lagih! :(

salahkah ku bila kaulah yang ada dihatiku..

2005-11-30T23:31:00.000+07:00

ben, copy ya.. kebetulan udah 2 bulan ini di playlist and baru aja denger di prambors..

Maliq and D’Essentials - Hidden Track

Ketika kurasakan sudah ada
ruang dihatiku yang kau sentuh
dan ketika kusadari sudah
tak selalu indah cinta yang ada

mungkin memang ku yang harus mengerti
bilaku bukan yang ingin kau miliki
salahkah ku bila
kaulah yang ada dihatiku

adakah ku singgah dihatiku
mungkinkah kau rindukan adaku
adakah ku sedikit dihatimu
bilakah ku menggangu harimu

mungkinkah kau tak ingin adaku
adakah ku sedikit dihatimu
bila memang ku yang harus mengerti
mengapa cintamu tak dapat kumiliki

salahkah ku bila
kaulah yang ada dihatiku
kau yang ada dihatiku X2

bila cinta kita tak kan tercipta
ku hanya sekedar ingin tuk mengerti
adakah diriku singgah dihatimu
dan bilakah kau tau
kaulah yang ada dihatiku
kau yang ada dihatiku
adakah ku dihatimu

salahkah aku?
jawabannya.. jelas salah..
jadi salah sendiri kalo kau merana.. :p hihihi..
but still.. udah lama gak ngerasa kayak gini..

*apa sih?*

sakit kepala

2005-11-30T08:15:00.000+07:00

ben : elo ga harus ngerti everyone's blog, rite? :p sometimes it's a share-ware, and sometimes it's just for myself.. :D

actually udah dr bbrp bulan yang lalu gue pusing2 ginih.. trus udah ilang.. eehh mulai weekend kemaren nongol lagih.. apa seh maksudnya! semalem tidur ga enak banget.. mana actually banyak kerjaan numpuk.. seBaL! mau banget tuh gue nge-roti bakar, ver.. tapi kita liat tar malem ya, kalo kepala gue gak rewel.. well, i'll go with you. hehehe..

d-uh.. my headache.. pagi2 gini bener2 ngga banget seeehhhhh... secara gue banyak kerjaan gitu lowhhh!

TruTh HurTs..

2005-11-29T22:54:00.000+07:00

gue baca itu di nick msn-nya si dodel - temen gue pas ngeles di EF dulu..
but then it kinda slapped me a bit.. well.. a LOT.

the truth that..
i hurt someone,

the truth that..
i haven't done anything 'really' good,

the truth that..
i had a crush in a wrong time
and with someone i'm not supposed to..

and the list continues..
damn.
truth hurts.

i still miss you.

2005-11-26T13:43:00.000+07:00

gue lagi mellow dari tadi malem..
untung ada sabs online jadinya bisa gegilaan bareng..
duh it amazed me how our relationship grew as we grew older..
but still.. lingerie renda2 dan 'girls will be girl and boys will be toys' t-shirt are our great crazy topics.. hahaha.. duh.. cepetan balik mbak! gue kangen.. *tak sabar ngeliat elo pake miniskirt and tops renda2* huehehehe..

luv ya!~

errrr

2005-11-25T21:14:00.000+07:00

bwahahaha..
ben, minta dunks url website translatornya.. hihihi :p *parah lo ben.. sinih langsung conversation ama gue kalo braniiiii!*

so..
besok seh mestinya gue masuk.. soalnya yang laen pada masuk alias lembur..
tapi tadi pas gue tanya ama bos pas mau pulang..
"jadi besok masuk jam brapa pak?"
"ehm.. kamu sih ngga usah masuk deh.. biar yang laen aja.."
dan gue melihat tatapan grace and ferry.. willing to kill me.
huehehehehe..

gue bukannya ga mau.. tapi gue males.. loh? hihihih.. iya gue males, tp ga enak juga ama yg laen, gue ga obligated buat lembur seh, wong dibayar aja kaga.. anyway pengen jalan2 juga.. nonton keq.. window shopping keq.. *sigh*

BAH...
gue cape negh..

i miss you.

voila.. je suis très fatigué mais je suis très content, aussi..

2005-11-24T22:23:00.000+07:00

D'aujourd'hui, j'etudie très nouvelles pendant le cours.. j'aime ma classe française. j'aime apprendre le français. Bien que je suis très fatigué, je me sens heureux d'étudier..

bwahahaha.. ga tau deh tu grammatically bener apa kaga. gimana pak yogi? :p

hmm iya.. gue mayan cape hr ini tapi seneng jugaa.. *gitu kira2 maksud judul di atas* cape kerja, tapi gue seneng ngerjain apa yang gue kerjain. i love what i do. meskipun.. yg namanya agency ya harus ngikutin maunya client.. but still, kayaknya kesenangan tersendiri kalo gue bisa keep on creating something and earning wonderful ideas. *tsah :p*

truss.. actually hari ini mon professeur lagi bad mood kayaknya. pas gue masuk kelas baru ada 1 orang. trus tiba2 dia ngoceh pake french yang trus il traduit.. pokoknya intinya dia kayaknya bete pada sering ga masuk.. ngapain ngeles kalo bolos2.. gituh. lahhh?? trus begitu udah pada masuk dia langsung nulis di papan dix objets, trus suru bikin kalimat.. huahahah.. bengong deh pada.. french masih patah2 gitu.. trus kalo pada ga bisa dia ngoceh2 lagi. ya alhasil semua pada berusaha, meskipun pada so desperate.. bagusnya seh jadi pada bisa. termasuk gue. bwahahaha *senangnya* baru bisa bilang : j'ecris un phrase dans mon cahier.. je cherche mon livre dans mon sac.. je vois l'homme bel avec mes yeux.. udah pada bangga :p hihih.. yang pasti gue harus cepet2 daftar mèdiathèque neghh.. biar bisa pinjem buku jadi je peux lire un livre français..

geez!

2005-11-23T19:14:00.000+07:00

today is a-not-so-good day. biasanya gue semangat abis kalo justru banyak kerjaan di kantor. tapi hari inih.. entah deh gue bete sebete2nya. si rina ampe bbrp kali nengok ke meja gue gara2 gue kebanyakan mumbling hal2 gak jelas dengan terlalu jelas sampe jelas banget kalo gue lagi gak jelas.. *lho apaan seh*

hari ini dibrief untuk bikin logo baru a brand of audio speaker.. buat pitching hari senen, which is udah harus ready by friday.. or kalo mau nyante2 ya silahkan masuk hari sabtu.. *males bener* trus gue maseh ada print ad.. yang ternyata lay-outnya ditolak abis ama client *ide bos gue seh, gue cuma nge lay-out :p* jadi gue udah harus bikin baru besok sblom lunch dah harus jadi.. karena hari senen *juga* udah harus masuk media.. i'm excited yet puyeng.. :p

beneran deh gue pengen banget sekedar jalan2 ke mall.. window shopping baju2 dan sepatu2 *wink wink* ato sekedar nonton harry potter.. or hangout ama andrew n ai.. huaa kangen sabs! adoh gue lagi tak pms tapi koq 'hancur' begini yakss..

trus orang2 yang gue curhatin hari ini pada bilang.. lagi pms ya? hihihi.. ngga tuh. just happen to be not in a good mood.. arrrrrrgggghhh mana harus rapat pula.. :(

thanks to you guys who always support me in my hard times.. you're all the best!

she's the One!

2005-11-22T23:39:00.000+07:00

suddenly remember her. well.. i believe she's sleeping sweetly in her room right now.. but even tho' we're arguing most of the times, and she still sees me as her little girl.. she's the best. and i have her way of thinking for most things.

she's my number one motivator to be an independent woman. although it's like she never say anything specific.. she said it on the very right times..and when i see her hurted.. it even slapped me more to make her happy later on..

and now i just realize how less times i have with her!

mom, i love you..

2005-11-22T23:09:00.000+07:00

it's HARD. DIFFICULT. and HURTS.
*even tho' outside i looked just fine.. inside i'm scrambled*

but still I don't know why I'm so 'hard' this time. this is not the usual me. but i have a deep conversation with God just now. usually.. i was just reporting to Him. and somehow.. it feels more beautiful when we're true to Him, and fully giving our heart to Him..

I'm weak and filthy.. and i do need to be closer tou You..

*ben, thanks for reminding..

gawat..

2005-11-21T21:50:00.000+07:00

hari ini gue makan mulu.. :( hiksssssssss....
i'm mentally very berry exhausted..

je suis tres fatigue.. :(

geez.. with him, salah.. without him, salah juga..
maybe i really do need some breaks..
for real..

harusnya gue ngerjain print ad nokia ituh.. di kantor..

2005-11-21T12:05:00.000+07:00

hari ini gue akhirnya ga ngantor.. no other reason selain males.. dan gue ternyata 'mesti' belajar.. karena pada bilang bakalan ga open book, dan bakalan ada teori? whuah? .. yeah.. last subject gitu lho.. dan konyol banget kalo gak lulus ato dapet C.. harus ngulang supaya bisa wisuda.. :p

kerjaan gue cuma beresin kamar.. bolak-balik dengerin si Andien nyanyi di mp3.. mandangin lampu bulet2 nan romantis *padahal suasana hati lagi jauh dr romantis* di atas bed gue.. bolak balik ke bawah.. nyemil this and that *doh tambah gendut deh* sambil berusaha masukin isi fotocopy-an ke dalem pala.. but unfortunately.. yang ada gue jadi bete euy.

bete karena conversation semalem.. yang 100% bener, tapi bukan berarti gue 100% salah.. *halah maseh aja gue pake acara defense??* entah lah.. mungkin memang harus begitu kejadiannya.. i just need to all by myself rite now, i guess..

BAH seharusnya gue masuk kerja ajah dah!

ouch.

2005-11-20T15:30:00.000+07:00

this is my fifth time ke mangga dua. kalo orang2 pada demen ke sono buat blanja2.. koq gue gak segitu interest-nya ya? pertama kali gue inget pas masih sd/smp gitu.. pas mau beli pohon natal *yang sekarang udah pada males ngehiasnya :p even ngeluarinnya aja males* kedua kali.. pas mesti beli art supplies such as poster colours, brushes, cutting mat dsb dst dengan harga yang pastinya jauh lebih murah ketimbang gue beli di gramedia.. ketiga kali pas gue mesti re-stock art supplies gue.. dan keempat kalinya pas ada sodara gue dateng dr Pati *find this city on the Java map :p* yang pengen blanja ke mangga dua.. and today is the fifth time.. hehehe.. nyokap mau beli bbrp decorations buat christmas dalam jumlah cukup banyak.. jadi ya ke sanalah kita.. gue sempet beli rok warna khaki buat nyanyi sore ini juga seh.. and i guess, kalo gue ke mangga dua lagi yang ada gue beli crafting decoration supplies aja deh such as pita2 gituh.. hehehe..

btw.. talk-show remaja tadi malem kalo menurut gue sih cukup berhasil.. hehe.. it's a great event, and gue rasa publikasi ke org-tua2nya cukup bagus. isinya juga oke.. selain itu juga mengingatkan gue kalo i was there some times ago :p *tsaaaaahhhhhhhh*

ok dah mao mandi dulu and then ke gereja.. :)

huaaaaaaa!

2005-11-19T16:48:00.000+07:00

shoot.
kemaren nunggu 1 jam,
hari ni nunggu 45 menit.

what the hell is wrong with you guys?????
sabar seh sabar..
but i got limits, you know..

and yeah,
gue dilarang bete karena orang2 lagi bete ama gue??
who cares lah.

i don't want to do the self-pity,
although it's my nature... i guess.
damn.

10.00 am

2005-11-19T09:44:00.000+07:00

8.15am

*hp gw bunyi* padahal gue masih ngantuks.. a friend, .. ngoceh2 soal nge-date nya semalem.. which is dia bilang rada garing.. trus berlanjut soal ngomongin dia lagi males pelayanan. padahal kemaren2 gue tau dia lagi pengen banget pelayanan, giliran sekarang ditawarin dia males.. huehehe.. trus dia bilang.. gawat juga ye kalo dah kerja, pulang malem, weekend buat pelayanan.. "trus kapan gue bangun siangnya dunks?" gitu deh kata dia..

yahh.. kebetulan banget kemaren nyokap gue juga baru protes.. gue pulang magang langsung ke gereja mulu.. pergi jam 9 pagi balik rumah jam 10 malem.. ditambah ngeles senen-kamis ya berarti senen-minggu tuh yg ada gue pulang malem mulu.. "kapan seh elo di rumah? adain waktu keq buat keluarga..?" gitu deh complain nyokap gue..

trus gue bilang ama temen gue itu.. yaa.. gue juga suka keteteran seh, makanya harus bisa jadi manager buat diri sendiri : antara keluarga, kerjaan, teman-teman dan diri sendiri.. trus dia nambahin.. "apalagi kalo punya pacar ya, mar?"

huehehehe.. iyah.. iyahh.. *udah ah gue bobo lagi yaa drew*

2005-11-17T08:20:00.000+07:00

yah.. i know this will come.. soon or later.
and it's coming now.

maybe this is a time where i should learn,
to be hated and questioned by your very own community..

although they might not now the real thing,
and i can't tell either..

maybe this is a time where i should learn,
not to make the same mistake..

i can't make you guys understand,
but as the time goes, it might tell.

karma kali yee.. ini punishment atas apa yg gue lakukan di waktu yang lalu..
yah semoga gue bisa belajar.. belajar menghadapi orang-orang yang kecewa sama gue...
belajar menghadapi orang-orang yang di depan gue baik-baik saja, padahal di belakang gue benci setengah mati, apalagi itu orang yang pernah deket sama gue.. belajar menjadi diri gue sendiri.. belajar mengadakan perubahan, meski mungkin spt sekarang ini malah bikin orang lain questioning.. belajar buat benar-benar jadi 'terang' Tuhan meski gue mungkin udah worthless di hadapan manusia..

^_^

2005-11-14T22:05:00.000+07:00

well.. malem ini pulang les ama si rumeser.. setelah bbrp kali dia ga bisa barengan kali ini dia yg nawarin barengan.. hehe.. well, not bad.. getting to know new people lah itung2 ;)

kemaren baru aja denger ".. tu orang ga punya otak yaa?? masa.. blahlahblah..*dan sejuta keluhan lainnya*" and baru aja gue denger abt the same person ".. dia tu hebat banget, has a good leadership, wah pokoknya gue thank god bgt bisa kerja bareng dia.."

dan gue paham betul both opinions ada benarnya.. meskipun yang satu udah tau ni org sampe busuk2nya sedangkan yang satu lagi most probably cuma tau 'what u see is what u get'

dan gue? cuma bisa tersenyum manis.. :p *huek* yahh..

kalo elo makan cukup di meja makan aja, karena kalo lo ikut2an masuk dapurnya bisa2 elo gak napsu makan lagi, seenak apapun itu makanan.. kecuali elo tahan2 aja kayak gue.. *meski kadang udah ga tahan*

iyaaaaa gue manis koq.. gue kasih senyum lagi deeeehhhhhh :)

*narsis mode : on*

posting ga penting

2005-11-13T13:39:00.000+07:00

hmm apa yaa..

kemaren akhirnya lunch di ajisen ramen di megamal.. sama andrew, pete, ai, mae and hadi.. wah seru deh.. saling meng-update.. rencananya seh 2 minggu lagi mau ngumpul lagih.. tapi plus vale.. trus desember ntar plus sabs.. januari maybe plus dean.. heheh.. rame euy! tapi emang kangen deh ama anak2 2-8 :)

pulang2 rapat kronos disambung latian vov.. trus diajakin ke front row sehh tapi apa boleh buat saya harus persiapan PL :p alhasil abis persiapan telp2an juga ampe tengah malem ;p

well today hasn't end yet.. masih harus nyanyi tar sore neh vov.. cape euy.. :p

egh ga boleh promote tanpa ijin ya? kan gue baek lo ga usah bayar yog.. hihihih :P

br aja view through my friend's list di frenster.. *setela sekian lama kaga login* and i feel so.. apa yah? kayaknya gimanaaaaaa gitu.. to see my old friends udah pada berubah.. udah pada moving on.. while gw kayaknya masih stuck di sinih2 ajah.. hehehe... well.. i'll catch up one day, dudes,.. :p

good morning..

2005-11-12T08:39:00.000+07:00

met pagi smuaaaaaaa.. hihihi. lagi error neh.. dah beberapa malem tiap malem pasti ada aja yg telp.. ngobrol gak jelas gitu deh. yg pasti sama si andrew.. bisa cela2an ampe treak2an.. haha.. i'm actually not a talking person, kecuali ama org2 tertentu sehh.. but yes i am having too much fun sampe kayaknya kerjaan2 gue terbengkalai.. *ups*

today bakal lunch ama andrew, ai, and mae.. wuaa senangnya! dah lama ga ketemu ai and mae.. kalo si andrew seh kemaren ini sempet lunch bareng juga di food court carrefour.. kebetulan dia intern di building yg ga jauh dari tempat gue.. trus kalo dah sore2 and mulai ngantuk.. mulai deh annoying each other :p haha..

belakangan juga sempet ngobrol2 ama so-called-ttm-an gue ituh. *tsah* ttm dari mana seehh?? haha.. nggak koq, we're just friends.. and well dapet banyak sih, soal persepsi, way of thinking, how to deal with stuff, dan.. gimana kalo ntar ada gosip2 tentang kita. loh? hihihih.. nggak deh. it's an enlightment to find someone different to discuss on things.. ya gak ver? ;)

ehh this poem is damn good.. haha.. :) i like this one .. trus bacanya sambil play the song.. it does complete the experience :p hihihi..

see ya later..

2005-11-11T22:53:00.000+07:00

2005-11-09T20:04:00.000+07:00

test!

heyaaa i'm back... ^_^

2005-11-06T16:50:00.000+07:00

huhuhu.. cek imel yg gue dapet malah ngeributin hal2 gak penting.. halah.. bikin rusak mood liburan aje :p

Bali's great. we're having a great time, and I guess it's only a little piece of our 'recovery' in being friends.. hard, but still it's a choice I've made. So.. we went around Bali but what i love most is snorkeling and rafting.. poto2nya nyusul deh yaa.. unpacking ajah blom kelar.. dan blom sempet bagi2in oleh2nya.. hihihi.. sempet ketemu cinnzeo and his girl after sunset in Jimbaran..

haduhhhhh Bali's sea ituh undescribable banget yaa.. the greenish clear sea.. the colourful fishes.. aduhh saya mau ke bali tapi 1 bulan!! :p huehehe.. yaa blanja2 seh ga banyak.. tapi makan babi yg banyak :p arrrghhh..

he is not a major thing .. but we're still good friends :) gue kaga nyari cowo koq ben, cowo-nya yg dateng ke gue.. gimana donk? hehehe.. *sok laku* kmaren ni lg males aja ama komunitas yg itu2 lagi, ngomongin itu2 lagi.. yang diributin hal2 sepele yang dibesar2in mulu.. i just need some refreshment lhaa.. and i had it.. :p palagi dari Bali.. duuuuhhhhhh saya mau ke Bali tapi 1 bulan yah! *loh kayaknya tadi udah deee*

ahh.. damn on them! *ups* bakal dibahas di milis gak neh kalo gue tulis begini yaakk?? *lirik2 versa* huehehehehe.. haduhhhhhhhh.. 1000% gak penting deh au. kalo gue pake 'damn' buat emphasizing aje seh, ato kalo lagi marah2.. abis kadang bahasa indo kurang pas.. norak? birain.. toh ini blog gue.. suka2 gue dunks mao tulis apa.. kalo situ tak suka ya jangan baca.. damn you! hihihih.. *doh gue bener2 gak abis pikir ama si damn.. * sori ver.. it's horribly ridiculous.. huehehehe.. *masih error kurang tidur* :p

que sera, sera

2005-11-01T07:58:00.000+07:00

last night we had a long conversation.. about our 'attachments' .. it's kinda funny.. but yet so pathetic.. we talk about our guilty feeling.. we talk about us.. and honestly confessing that we're in a rush crush.. *tsaelah bahasanyaaa* tapi yaa.. above all, he's still a great person, a good friend, and like we said.. who knows what will happen later? hehehe.. ..;)

and still.. j'adore lui.. :)

yeah.. que sera, sera..

2005-10-31T22:38:00.000+07:00

merci, Monsieur Yogi..
Je ne peux pas danse.. vous pouvez danse? :p

Je vais a Bali avec ma amis, pour cinq jour.. je suis tres content! :)

maap french seadanya neh, pasti banyak salah2 :p hihihi..
ya sudah mau packing dulu yaaa.. :)

au revoir..

test

2005-10-29T21:47:00.000+07:00

test please.. i can not view my blog.. :(

taking pictures

2005-10-29T12:47:00.000+07:00

kemaren sempet ngobrol2 ama cinnzeo soal taking pictures. honestly gue seneng liat foto2 dan taking pictures.. tapi seringnya gw males. hihihi..

gue kan kalo ke kantor tuh dianter pake motor.. lewatin roxy nan macet and berdebu.. nyebelin seh.. tapi kadang gue suka mikir, coba kalo gue gak males dan terlebih lagi kalo gue berani bawa SLR gue.. bikin portraits2 human interests dari sepanjang jalan roxy ituh.. pasti menarik bgt.. soalnya gw banyak liat objects yang asik bgt sebenernya kalo dipoto2in.. apalagi black and white ;)

hmmphh..
penyakit gw kalo udah mau pergi2 neh.. apalagi pergi2 yg pake planning jauh2 hari. pas deket2nya jadi males abis. hehehe.. tapi, masalahnya gw dah bayar.. ke Bali gitu loh. :p ya udah deh niat2in.. who knows bisa ketemu ama mr.cinnzeo di sono ;p sebel neh mau janjian ama si andrew dr jaman kapan kaga ketemu2 waktunya.. pokoknya tar kalo dah balik mau takoyaki! :p

26.10.05

2005-10-26T21:15:00.000+07:00

hmm tak sebebas merpati yah ben.. elo kahitna banget seehh.. :p makasih ya lirik2 lagunya.. bisaan aja deh elo.. :)

people may think differently on what i'm doing.. but i have a specific personal reason for that.. i'm tired being a good girl. more over, i'm exhausted of playing as a good girl while actually i'm not. i'm merely human, doing mistakes, hurting and being hurt.. what's the point of sacrificing myself while i'm not doing the right thing either? i'm tired of pleasing others.. :(

i might not right
i might not wrong,
so do you.

i might be naughty,
i might be good,
so do you.

i just follow my heart..

bebas.. ku mau hidup bebas.. aahhhhhhhh

2005-10-25T22:22:00.000+07:00

wah duh.. ni dua manusia tetanggaan di sunrise inih bawel2 yahh!! hihihih.. *ups* yah sebenernya seh gak segitunya koq.. gue aja yang agak2 hiperbola.. trus pada kepancing kan??? dasar biar cowo2 juga doyan gosip kan tuh :p huehehehe..

gw baru ajah balik nonton The Brothers Grimm.. well, quite nice lah :) lumayan buat refreshment, udah lama neh gak nonton.. td nonton ama ci Lian - temen kantor and 2 temennya. actually gue males.. tapi berhubung dia udah ngajak dari kemaren2 dan gue gak sempet2.. jadilah tadi kita nonton di roxy.

gw baru aja browse through versa's blog.. hiks,... jadi campuraduk deh, antara mau marah, sedih and disrespect. yahh.. i know humans are imperfect but hey, aren't you guys going too far on this? menyebalkan.. never crossed in mind that we're an exclusive thing.. we're doing the hardworks for Him koq.. lu kata gampang buat komitmen latihan kayak gituh? *tsah bahsanyaahh.. :p* kecewa berat seh gue.. palagi kalo bener itu orang2nya. gue sedih ver.. :(

well.. i've know him since.. last two months? getting close lately (read:since last week).. but hey.. i still want to enjoy myself naw.. meskipun engkau begitu menggoda.. awwww :p

...

2005-10-24T08:10:00.000+07:00

sebelum kita pentas drama musikal kemaren, sempet ada beberapa hal yang bikin gue berpikir, apakah this is the last time kita bakal latian tiap hari kayak org gila, ketawa2 bareng, nyanyi dan nari bareng plus silence bareng karena lg diomelin kakak.. gue sempet denger bagaimana vov sendiri udah banyak problems.. a lot of them, from people around us. waktu chiqha sempet telp di hari kita mau GR, that time gue baru bener2 merasakan, we're in a damn hard situation. and those 2-days on stage could be our last oppurtunity to have that togetherness. more over, to be happily share the joy of God. because some people just don't see it as God's works. while for us, who else behind a 2-month preparation for such a big thing??

and when kakak said, this is probably will be the last musical drama.. i knew it's going to happen anyway. and yes, i started to get sick with these people who keep bugging us. we were just doing our part in serving.. we have tried to communicate, to talk, to share it.. but probably you guys just don't get it and said that we're hard to understand. it's actually about you don't want to, NOT can't..

yep, semuanya dah lewat.. those hectic-but-fun days.. kayaknya udah lega2an gini malah berasa kosong.. kangen banget sama suasana latian, sama kostum2 kita yang gak jelas ituh.. and of course, the undescribable togetherness!

hmm.. but yes.. everything started has an end.. will we having these great moments again? i don't know.. only God knows.. :)

have a nice day everyone..

hmmphh!

2005-10-22T15:01:00.000+07:00

one down! one to go..
cinnzeo, BIG thanks for coming and taking pictures ;) .. ver.. ini neh orang yang sok kenal n comment di blog mu, yg kemaren ngobrol ama aku abis pentas.. hehehehe.. ;) and yes, maapin deh salah2 kata dikit.. maklum energi buat blogging terbatas :p

gue dah lama banget gak ketemu si cinnzeo.. ternyata gak berubah banyak.. hehe..cuma keliatan lebih tua ajah :p hihihi..

soal ttm *duh dibahas lagih* yah, u might know who is he, ver.. tapi diem2 aja yahh.. haha..

aku memang suka pada dirimu
namun aku ada yg punya
lebih baik kita berteman
kita berteman saja
teman tapi mesra

**edited**

2005-10-21T13:42:00.000+07:00

cinnzeo : thanks yaa.. ehmm.. yahh you know lha siapa C00Lz yg gue maksuthhh.. :p looking to see you tonight or tomorrow night ;)

mr.Y : nice poems there ;) btw gue lupa psw xanga gue.. jadi lama nggak comment di blognya mister.. huehehehe..

udah ah mao get ready neh! ;)

-_-

2005-10-19T18:48:00.000+07:00

yah.. 2 days to the musical drama. gue tidak berharap kita main bagus sih. gue berharap bisa main bagus dan jadi berkat buat semua. that's all ;) entah kenapa gue pribadi merasa nggak damai.. coz I know few people put some silly thoughts on what we're doing.. :(

and..
refers to the post below..
what should i do? what should i do?? masa' gue harus jantungan mulu.. huaaaaa.. :(

di le ma

2005-10-19T08:53:00.000+07:00

sama deh kayak judulnya vero. between two choices. :p

just like when bluemint have to choose between rDp and C00Lz.. huehehehehehee.. *huek* ups. i'm not really a NICE gal.

i believe there are eyes that caught me..
but, if it's *damn* true.. this song is enough to represent my blogging today.

cukuplah saja berteman denganku
janganlah kau meminta lebih
ku tak mungkin mencintaimu
kita berteman saja
teman tapi mesra

aku memang suka pada dirimu
namun aku ada yg punya
lebih baik kita berteman
kita berteman saja
teman tapi mesra

huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! you're just too good to be true lah!
i don't want any war.. :(

a piece of comeback

2005-10-11T19:55:00.000+07:00

well, it's true.. when you feel 24/7 is not enough, you'll appreciate each second like a diamond. It's been some busy weeks.. and I am actually exhausted. But when seeing other people, I might just started my so-called-real life portion. Spending those 10 hours in the office,the next 3 hours at church, and an hour additional in front of my pc and then it's time for my phisical tools to rest. not to forget those minutes meetings for your family, friends and lover. my sleeping time now is like 5 to 6 hours. not to mention those nights that I've to catch up with the deadlines. final result is.. i get upset easily lately. forgive my yelling the other night.. :(

but I'm thankful..
that God still let me do the works for Him.. that I have an understanding family, that I have such caring friends.. including you, cinnzeo! :p and those friends that together in the internships burdens.. lith, tejo and andrew..

and.. i fall in love with my job more and moooooreeee.. ;)
vero : miss chatting wif u too.. tapi waktu sedang tidak memungkinkan neehhh.. hehehe.. hope evrything's fine wif u :)

haiyahhhhh masih banyak kerjaan, non!! jangan kelamaan blogging!! ~ he? suara sapa seehh..

i just wanna live longer

2005-10-01T23:39:00.000+07:00

oh yeah.. by the time gue mau ke bali malah ada bom.. :(

last monday gue bete banget.. gw kerja di komputer di ruangan bos, and kebetulan the other bos ada tamu yg smoking in his room. and i have to work inhaling the smokes. for like an hour trus gue mulai pusing2. and the shitty AE bilang ; hah segitu doang kaga tahan? *GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

SIAL. gue cuma pengen idup lebih panjang dan take care of my lungs. you do your own lah. ya udah trus gue cabut mo ngeles.. untung brief-nya sore, jadi gue gak harus bertahan lebih lama in the smokes. untung gue anak magang, jadi gak wajib selesein tu kerjaan. SIAL. gue tetep masih kesel.

i just keep wondering.. why do ppl smoke? which is ngebakarin duit, which is memperpendek umur? oh yeah socializing. kalo kaga ngokar kaga gaul. SIAL. dan gue sebel sama smoking ppl yg gak tau diri.. adddddduhhhhhhhhh seBaL.. dulu sempet mikir penasaran ama clubbing,.. tp considering the smokes.. i don't think i'm still interested. tar yg ada gw pingsan. huehehe..

udah ah ngantukss.. happy weekend evryone.. maap yak saya update blog seminggu sekali.. hihihih..

vero : take care yak.. jgn mabok2.. :p hehehe.. ;)

update neehhh!

2005-09-25T22:53:00.000+07:00

karena si mr. cinnzeo udah complain minta di update.. jadi yaa.. menyempatkan waktu deh sebelom bobo.. hehe..

errr ada apa ya? it seems that time goes so fasssssttt.. till i couldn't recall any details. actually gue cape bgt.. yah udah bisa adapt seh dikit2.. semoga sampe 10 minggu ke depan gue tetep fit.. haha.. padahal hr ini udah mau sakit gitu.. makanya sesiangan bobo ampe sore.. pdhl pada jalan2 ke STC tadi.. hehehe..

sempet meeting bentar abt joy singers... yaaaaaaa gimana ya gue juga maunya tetep di sana. tapi waktunya lg susah. mungkin gue salah juga yah dadakan gitu. abis kemana2 juga kebentur seehh mao ambil les selasa jumat ada brifing... rabu sabtu ada vov.. gue emang hrs mengorbankan salah satu.. and i don't feel good juga lah.. :(

sekarang aja gue lg pusing gimana selesein itu publikasi yg ampun2 banyaknya padahal waktu gue sedikit banget.. :(

huaaa God help me!

but one good thing is God stays with me... always. and one more.. project gue goal and get paid. hahaha.. senaaaaang!

ok deh, besok.. k e r j a lagih.. hehehe.. ;)

quick words.

2005-09-18T23:11:00.000+07:00

hmmphh.. sebelom lupaa.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY for my dear friend, vero.. iyaa telaatt. maap.. hehe.. her bday is last wednesday - 14th sept. maapkan aku blum sempet beli kado yah ver.. any request? hihihi *kayak gue bisa ngabulin wish-listnya aje*

dah lama gak ngeblog.. maklum nyampe rumah udah mau tewas ajah. weekend juga penuh ama meeting2 greja and latian2 nyanyi. hiks. yahh gitu de.. sempet ke puncak, brangkats jumat malem balik sabtu siang ~ gak niat ye? hehehe.. abisnya bukan buat having fun seehhh..

tadi my performance lumayan lah. meskipun apa yg gue tulis di script ama yg keluat beda abis. hahaha.. but still.. ok. oh ya di puncak kemaren jd sempet sedikit sharing2 ama k'Ana. well, great lah.. i wish i could fit in more and more again.. :)

ahhh ya sudahhh maag kambuh neyhhhhhhh.,..
eh eh eh.... kemaren ada yg kangen ama gue lowhh.. huehehehehe.. *wink wink*

*sindrom kurang istirahat*

weekend.. huhuhuhu!

2005-09-16T16:09:00.000+07:00

working woman? huehehehe.

btw, kalo dulu gue perna 'nyumpah serapah' dan mengutuk2 sekolah dan kuliah, gue TARIK kembali semuanya. mendingan kuliah daripada kerjaaa hiks hiks hikssssss...
tapi ketika gue ngebayangin org lain kerja di depan komp cuma ngurusin huruf dan angka mungkin gue juga jauh lebih beruntung.. huehehehe..

jadi gini, senen kemaren gue dateng jam 10an ke MenAtWork Communications Art, gue pikir paling gue hand in the papers dulu, then besoknya start kali, or kapan lah. ternyata.. 'Ya udah kamu langsung aja gabung di studio sana..'

Ha? Iya, gue langsung dikasi meja di depan komp. gak lama langsung terima brief. dan selama bbrp hari ini gue berurusan dengan macintosh sehingga ketika gue balik ke PC, shortcut gue salah semua :p dodol! kerjaan so far so good, gue masih bisa handle, environment asik, org2nya asik.. helpful dan ada 2 org alumni binus juga. hehe. yg gak nahan kalo udah after lunch ituhh kerjanya makan terusss.. alias cemilan jalan terus. mati dah gue bisa tambah ndut. kalo gak da kerjaan ya pada ngobrol2 buka2 buku desain yg lengkap ituhh.. sayangnya si kaga ada unlimited internet access. but its okay. bisa2 gue browsing mulu ntar :p tempatnya gak gede, tapi it's well designed, jadi asik. bosses are good, friendly and bisa ngobrol asik ama creatives-nya.

cape sihh.. mungkin tubuh gw belom adapt sama ritme kerja kayak gini yee.. lagian pulangnya jam 6.30-7pm. huaaaaa. napa gak jam 5 aja si? :p

and then.. CCF.. bonjour, ca va? :) lumayan lah udah 2 kali pertemuan, so far it's very very interesting. and i love it. meskipun gue baru nyampe rumah jam 10malem..

ok dahhh.. wanna take SOME rests.. :p

bonjour!

2005-09-12T07:43:00.000+07:00

huaa.. akhirnya sabtu kemaren gue paksain ke CCF.. which is di salemba :p jalanan udah kayak org gila.. macet abis di harmoni. akhirnya gw les french jugaa.. stelah sekian lama cuma angan2 doang alias males kesononya, krn jauh dan macet.. sekarang diniat2in degh.. lagian semua sama ajah, mau blajar dutch ke erasmus, german ke goethe ato japan ke JF ... arrghhhh tempatnya jauh2 smuah!

ok deh, mau get into my works done dulu neh.. trus siap2 ke kantor.. *tsah gayanyaaaaaaa*

back to campus..

2005-09-09T18:47:00.000+07:00

oh yeah.

gue tadi pagi dah ready stengah sebelas. jam 11 si tejo blum nongol juga, gue telp lagi makan di kedai. oh yeah. jadi gue makan juga donk.. di rumah tapinya. masih sisa bbrp suap itu mashed potato.. suara motor menderu dan si tejo udah jerit2 di luar. yeeee... gimana atuh. yasudah gue buru2 masuk2in itu kentang ke dalem perut, nyamber tas ama jacket and brrrm. way to go to binus. heehhh.. keluar daan mogot.. UJAN! sial. untung gak gede2 amat jadi tancep aja deh. sampe kampus masih kering kerontang tuh binus. langsung ketemu lidia di depan sekre. setengah jam berlalu setelah tau kalo ternyata gak ada itu yang namanya brifing KP..liat dosen pembimbing besok2 katanye. sebaL! trus few seconds after.. UJAN deres, banget. huaaaaaaaaa. gak brenti2 ampe jam 2an. yah bataL deh gue mau ke JCC liat FGD Expo. pdahal dapet 2 freepass dari ko herwindo :( hikssss hiksssss... akhirnya dapet tumpangan si lidia yang mo ke TA.. bareng co-nya, and ama tejo juga.. hayuh lah.. lunch trus dia mo shopping di metro big sale. huehueehue.. akhirnya sempet ngantongin dompet baru neyyy.. cuma 40ribu saja. dan satu tas putih kecil yang maniz. tapi umpetin dulu ah. nyokap gue bisa ngomel2 kalo tau gue belanja.. (lagi) hiks.. pulang2 dah sore euy.. dari TA ke jelambar aje nyaris 1 jem.. whats wrong with the traffic, ay? *oh iya ini jakarta.. macet? biasaaaaaa!* ya sudah.. telp tempat intern gw, bikin appointment u senen nanti hand in cv portfolio and those papers from the campus. i know i'm a bit late for thiss.. :( trus nonton TV and leha2, nge-blog..

ah ya. besok rencananya mau ke CCF. entah jadi kenyataan ato nggak. hehehe.. besok last registration. jadi kalo gak dapet ya.. next term lah. anyway i dont know how's my working hours will be. kalo gak dapet ya gue ikutan english bussines class-nya ajah..(padahal udah fed up gitu ama les inggris. huehehehe) . pokoknya harus ambil courses lagi deh..

**

"sial masa gue dikata2in ama polisi di jalanan.. jelas2 gue mau ambil jalur yg gak three in one.."
"yaa.."
"lucu aja gitu .. sableng abis tu polisi.."
"yaa you know lah.."
"trus gue stuck gitu sekarang di roxy.."
"paling 1 jam lah lo di sana," gue senyum2 sendiri.

45 menit kemudian.

"haahhh lo tau gak gue baru bergerak kira2 100 meter sajah..."
"i've told yaa.." *ketawa ngakak*

conversation with a friend just got back for intern in jkt from the netherlands.
ini jakarta, mas.. anything is possible to happen :p

gud morning lg semangat cuap2

2005-09-08T10:47:00.000+07:00

ada ad CCF tadi di koran hr ni. registrations end on sept10th. huaaa.. mau banget sebenernya. let see deh.

hm, gw sebenrnya bukan org yg curigesyen *doh bahasa apa inih* a.k.a gampang curigaan. gw kadang suka menduga dalam hati, tapi trus bakal dengan cepat ke cover dengan positive2 thinking yg lain. tapi gue termasuk an observer dan gue suka sok menganalisa tingkah laku orang and end up ternyata bener. haha.. jangan2 harusnya gw belajar psychology neh.

ada orang yang belakangan ini attitude-nya nyebelin.. selalu seakan2 mao bilang : kalo gue gini elo bisa apa coba? trus responsibility nya itu gak ada banget. kalo tanggung jawab gak mau ngebelain-bilangnya sibuk kerjaan, kalo urusan jalan2 bisa kapan aja. aihh so childish dan menyebalkan. sekali dua kali fine lah. tapi lama2 kan annoying juga.. pdhl orangnya udah lebih tua dr gw! that's another annoying point. can't ya be more 'mature' instead of cari2 perhatian terus? heran deh..